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Chapter 12 - The Elderless Society

In our society, there is no reality beyond the marketplace. There is no recognition of the place, beyond the village, where indigenous peoples found meaning and manhood. A quote from Larry Anderson, a perennial major league relief pitcher, comes to mind: "You are only young once, but you can be immature forever." In our culture it is so easy to be eternally a boy of summer, easy to stay an unguided adolescent. It is so easy to be stuck in the village, when we are meant to face the wilderness. It's too easy to stay a businessboy.

This is the crucial stage of the initiatory journey. The boy, whose inside age is now adolescent, is at the village boundaries, still looking wistfully backward toward security and fearfully ahead toward risk and the unknown. He is like the god, Janus, the god of doorways and transitions. Janus had two heads looking in opposite directions. As William Bridges speaks in his Janus time of looking back, "I could yell for help, in hopes that my mother or the third grade teacher or my scoutmaster will come and find me."

If a man has done his healthy adolescent work, he is ready to look resolutely ahead. Excitement is added to his fears. He is ready for total separation from the village and all that is familiar. He starts being anxious to move on. He finds himself wanting to face the danger of the wilderness. He is drawn to the ordeal.

Sometimes men are compulsively attracted toward danger because of the archetypal need for an ordeal experience. But they get stuck in a series of meaningless risks because there is nobody to guide them toward more important dangers. Youth gangs are like this. Boys face the danger of death or prison in order to be a man in the eyes of the rest of the gang. They are looking for a test that brings out manhood. They instinctively move toward risk and death.

There is also what I call the Evel Knievel syndrome. I remember Evel trying to rocket across the Snake River Canyon. This danger had the drama of initiation but not a great deal of its meaning. Men like Evel usually say they want to feel more "alive" in courting danger, usually in some sport or dare. I believe them. Initiation does make a man feel more alive. Yet it takes something more than facing danger to make initiation work.

Now we are nearing the second big stage of the initiatory process. The ordeal looms ahead. If a man has contacted his adolescent and started the process of fathering him, the man will be prepared for the ordeal. He will be prepared for the coming of the elder in the middle of the night.

This short chapter is about the role of the elder, at this point the elder within, in the life of the initiate, and in the life of a man. His role is so crucial that it is archetypal. As I said about archetypes, they are universal human experiences that we carry in our psyches. Because the elder experience is archetypal, the elder is sleeping within every man, waiting to be awakened. Hopefully, men who are ready, most of those men who have read this far, will recognize him starting to emerge and speak.

The Elder

The elder is the archetype of the senex, or the wise old man. He represents a wisdom and awareness beyond our personal history, beyond the boy's experience. He represents a viewpoint of life that one finds only beyond the marketplace. He represents a new form of consciousness that holds the key to the boy's manhood. He is like a new coach who, because of his wisdom, turns a program around. He is like a new software program that suddenly brings a connection to the wealth of knowledge on the Internet.

The elder represents a totally new view of life, a view that is often in opposition to a man's conventional, familiar beliefs. He represents a wisdom beyond personal experience. The indigenous peoples viewed this wisdom as coming from their ancestors, as well as their gods. The ordeal was the time to be introduced to these ancestors and to face their terrifying gods. We can view this archetypal wisdom as slowly being learned over generations and millennia. Jung called this archetype the "2 million year-old man" inside. He saw this wise man archetype residing in the collective unconscious of every man's psyche. The indigenous people viewed this ancient wisdom as residing in their ancestors, who were accessible to them through ordeal and prayer. They also saw this wisdom in the elders who were watching over them.

In an elder society, the elder appears when the adolescent is nearing readiness. He suddenly becomes prominent in the lives of the boys growing toward initiation. Older boys notice the elders looking at them from a distance trying to tell if they are ready. They test themselves in preparation for their coming ordeal. Boys expect the elder to come and change their lives profoundly. They wonder if they will succeed or even if they will survive. They are often of two minds, wanting their manhood yet fearing their test.

The elder provides a clear path to their manhood. His presence is a daily reminder of their next steps. Boys take some comfort in knowing that they will not be sent to ordeal before the elders' wisdom recognizes their readiness. They also have a deep sense that the elders want them to succeed, and will guide them through the process. They know that the elders will push them beyond their known limits and the limits of the village. They know that the elders know of mysteries beyond the village that holds the secrets to their manhood.

In an elderless society, there are many older men but few elders. When there are no elders there is no witness that there is an essential reality beyond the village boundaries. There is only the illusion that somehow manhood takes place in the marketplace, by young men mimicking older men. There is the illusion that initiation only involves the persona. There are no elders to point to a whole different time and place of transformation. So there are no clear pathways to maturation. Authentic adolescent longings for a special, unique sense of self are crushed, or go unrecognized.

Real adolescent dreams become unrealistic fantasies without the elder's translation and guidance. When the ordeal time gets close in an elderless, modern society, a man is caught totally unawares by his feelings of alienation, aloneness, dissatisfaction. As I have said, this time usually comes when a man is in his late 30's or 40's, sometimes his 50's. This Janus time of midlife comes totally unexpected.

An unaware man doesn't realize that he is experiencing the awakening of the elder within. Besides experiencing the yearnings of the adolescent for something more, he is experiencing the questioning of the elder. The elder sees the world from a totally different perspective, different from the father or mother. The elder knows of possibilities that are beyond the consensus view of manhood. He knows that a boy is made for a more profound and meaningful life than the uneldered marketplace holds.

Questioning one's life direction and one's priorities is a sure sign the adolescent is ready for something more. Questioning the direction and priorities of society around him, and his place in these priorities, is a sure sign the elder is starting to emerge in a man.

Perhaps a man is starting to question his job. Is this job really something that betters society? Does my work reflect who I am now? Do I have more to give than this job allows? Are my talents really being utilized? Do I make a difference in the bigger picture? Is my life more than just about me? There is the elder.

Sometimes the questioning has more to do with relationships. What persons in my life can I really count on to support my deeper self? Is my marriage a witness for other couples to emulate? Am I a friend who is honest enough to confront destructive behavior in those I care about? Should I go out of my way to share my wisdom with those younger than me? There is the elder.

A man may question his faith. What are my bottom line values? Do I live them out and walk my talk? Do my life goals include the good of others? What does it really mean to act morally? There is the elder.

The elder archetype bears the wisdom that our crisis of alienation and separation is necessary. He paradoxically bears the message that this painful crisis is also an opportunity. This internal sense of a different rightness can be viewed as intuition. This intuition can be seen as the voice of the ancient elder within. The elder within gives us the sense that we must go past what we are taught is real. He coaxes us to find reality for ourselves, even if it is dangerous. The elder causes us to question other's views of what is good, even if the vast majority agree. The elder always questions the consensus reality of the marketplace and the village, as he lives in the emerging man. He always witnesses to the answers to our self questioning residing on the other side.

Yoda

In the Star Wars myth, the elder is primarily represented by Yoda. In Greek myths elders are like the sky gods, bringing rational knowledge of the mysteries, as well as top down wisdom from on high. The patriarchy is primarily based on Greek myth. In Germanic myths there are more trolls and elves and dwarves, gods of the earth and intuition. These elders bring an earthy, nature wisdom of the powers of the wilderness. This wisdom comes from unlikely, overlooked places on the ground, where wisdom has been stored since aboriginal times.

Yoda represents the Germanic myth. Yoda is 900 years old, a true senex and bearer of much ancient wisdom, pre-technical but very strong. Yoda represents prehistoric, pre-Christian wisdom. Especially to modern, Western eyes, Yoda's wisdom is packaged in the unlikeliest, countercultural way. Yoda lives on the other side, and incorporates its wisdom. He knows the Force. He has been taught by the Force. Few in the technological, patriarchal galaxy even know of him, much less reverence his wisdom.

When Luke is just about ready, he is led by his second father to Yoda. Actually, the galactic situation causes Luke to be thrust into his ordeal prematurely. Yet he has an elder, though a very frustrated one, and that makes the difference. There is a Zen saying that holds a truth about elders: "When the student is ready the teacher will come." Sometimes readiness is just a sincere desire to do whatever it takes to become a better person, and the humble action to seek someone with more wisdom.

On first meeting, Luke is at least irritated with Yoda, if not downright scornful of him. Luke says, "I'm looking for a great warrior." He expects a traditional, cultural warrior, like any naive adolescent would. Instead he finds a cross between a dwarf and a troll acting like a little child. Offhandedly the dwarf comments that "war is not what makes one great."

Luke is frustrated, proud, and hopeless. He cannot find his image of a Jedi warrior and master. Luke flunks his first test of humility. He is still filled with childish attitudes and adolescent fantasies. More ominously, he is full of pride. As Obi Wan says, "he has too much of his father in him." He is still an unhealed, fatherless adolescent looking to typical patriarchal symbols of status and power. He is full of fantasy. Yoda says he's only a boy.

At first, Yoda denies his help to Luke. As he says, "The boy has no patience! He is not ready. He is looking for excitement. That is not a Jedi." Just looking for adventure is not the motivation needed for maturity. The Evel Knievel syndrome is a terminal disease in the eyes of an elder. Unbridled passion is a recipe for disaster.

Yoda finally takes Luke as a disciple for the sake of the galaxy. Luke is an orphan, forcefully separated from mother and father, aunt and uncle. He has been separated by unfortunate circumstance, not by an elder. Luke suffers from his father wound and has not had a strong fathering foundation to prepare him for an elder. As Yoda says, speaking of Luke's father wound, "there is much anger in him." Luckily for us, an elder can make up for our lack of preparation once we humble ourselves and drop our patriarchal expectations. Yoda is very tired after 900 years of life. And Luke does not seem ready. Yet there is a crisis in the whole galaxy and Luke seems their only hope, for he is of the family of Skywalker.

Luke symbolizes the next adolescent generation, the next generation that needs the elder's guidance in order to eventually rule wisely. Elders are always concerned about the following generations. Yoda represents a thousand generations of Jedi warriors still concerned about the future of the galaxy. They are concerned "with peace and justice", the values of the other side. They represent Erik Erikson's ideal of mature men. They are 'generative' men who also represent the best of warrior energy.

Elders do not fight the battles. They prepare young men to battle for what is right, based on values beyond self-aggrandizement. Elders are like grandfathers who are no longer concerned with the trappings of manliness, yet have a great concern about their grandsons. They are not like patriarchal generals who send men to company wars to retain their own status. Elders often end up suffering greatly to show their novices the way of wisdom.

What Yoda tries to do with Luke is what all elders do. He talks of the Force and its values. He tries to teach Luke of unseen, transcendent power that can work through Luke himself. He tries to give Luke a sense of the call within himself. He witnesses to another reality that gives meaning to all that is happening in the galaxy. He gives Luke the greatest gift one man can give another: the possibility of a new and truer sense of self.

The Elder Within

I have talked about the elder archetype emerging, even untriggered, in the form of questioning the status quo and perceiving the flaws in the garment of society. The elder voice also comes up as a pang of conscience.

The elder within speaks words that make us uncomfortable. Yet we know he speaks the truth. Oftren our conscience is bothered. And we know if we embrace that truth our perspective and our lives will change immensely. This voice of conscience is also the voice of the elder within. When the deeper conscience speaks, we are called to deeper change. The elder, like the conscience, tends to speak from a place that is unconcerned with common ideas of success or normal ways of behaving. He calls the adolescent to be unconcerned with peer approval. He has little patience with competition that leads only to dominance. The elder will call one to pursue deeper values, regardless of the probability of success. The elder voice will seem odd, though he cares not for odds.

Sometimes a man will start having dreams of an older man who seems contented, peaceful, and wise. This man will often be quite a paradoxical figure as well, something like a Yoda or a Mr. Miyagi,the janitor in the Karate Kid. He will often seem inconsequential in the dream. He will seem small. But his image will somehow persist in the following waking hours. It is important to give this image attention in our imagination. He will have things to say. His wisdom is for our good, our deepest good. He will often tell us things we already know to be true, but have been afraid, or too busy, to take seriously. He will tell us things that have to do with our initiation.

One valued elder that appeared in my dreams was quite unusual. He had some facial features of the pope. He was wearing the pope's white, steeple-like hat. However he was about 3 feet tall. He had a gnarly face with a huge underslung jaw. He wore plain, old clothes on a very stocky frame. He just stood there and chuckled, not walking or moving. He looked like a jolly old troll with a miter. He seemed to care little what I thought of him. He seems to care about what I thought.

I often talk to this man I call John Paul. I ask him questions when I am stuck, just like I speak to my young boy or my adolescent. I ask for perspective when I am down or confused. He often chuckles before he answers, like he is seeing a great cosmic joke that I am not aware of. His answer is usually earthy, often reminding me that I am taking myself and a situation much too seriously. He reminds me of more important values while keeping me humble. He often shows me how I am worrying about the wrong things. He seems to have the best of the pagan and Christian traditions inside of him. I get solace from him. He has helped me with this chapter.

Some psychologies call the inner elder a wisdom figure. Others call him the inner knower or the higher self. Popularly, there is the idea of intuition or gut feeling, a sense that seems to come from a place beyond ourselves. Religious traditions talk of angels bearing the message of the higher power. The ancient Greeks talked of the daimon, or guiding spirit, that each man possessed. Jung called his daimon Philemon. He talked of him often and even drew elaborate pictures of him. The ancient Romans called this spirit the genius. Native Americans saw this elder spirit in totem animals.

The elder within is often symbolized in fairy tales by a man similar to John Paul. He is the little old man, troll, elf, beggar, cripple, dog, snake that nobody takes seriously, nobody except the young hero who is out of other answers. The young man or woman, often adolescent, usually has little social power and standing, and even less resources. The insignificant elder will have the answer to unlock the riddle of the young hero's quest. As we will see, this elder has been waiting for a very long time for someone humble enough to listen.

I always encourage a man to start an imaginary dialogue with his inner elders. The dialogue with the elder is for the purpose of getting in touch with archetypal wisdom that is needed on the personal path. It is also for the purpose of getting motivation to take the next steps. I have worked with many men who have benefited from these internal talks. Finding this inner voice is a big step toward manhood.

It is important to know that the elder guides us to a sacred place but is not a god. The elder within is the archetypal knowledge that there is a greater wisdom than ours, a wisdom that we can partake in. This voice draws us to the place where we can confront the source of the wisdom. This voice draws us to the place of initiation.

The elder in us will have a voice that is countercultural. His voice may be opposed to the patriarchal voice. He pushes the adolescent toward the wilderness, exposing the limitations of the marketplace. He will always bring up a conflict in us. Often the true elders in our society come across to us as men of conscience. They seem to do what is right rather than what is acceptable. They disturb us, as they confront us with our inner voices. They are disturbing as they shake up our lives and awaken the elder within.

Enough

The voice of the elder within can be a lifelong guide to our deepest identity as men. Just as this elder will lead us to initiation into the initial ordeal of manhood he will lead us to the many other initiations we will go through in our entire lives. His voice is enough. Though an external elder often triggers the conscious step into ordeal he is there to ultimately introduce a man to his elder within as I am endeavoring to introduce this wise man to you. I will talk more about the outside elder in future chapters. However the elder voice inside a man will be his ultimate guide through initiation and an indispensable counsel for the rest of his life.

This voice is the antidote to a man being stuck in his ego, his adolescence. This voice will always drive a man to question his role beyond ego, even beyond family and loved ones. His elder within will help him understand a deeper and broader kind of love that envelopes brothers and sisters never met while deepening the love for family and friends he lives with. This elder also yearns to create a society where everyone is encouraged to follow his or her unique psychospiritual path. A man in touch with his elder feels the responsibility to make this society happen.

Facing The Bull

There is a Spanish proverb. "It is not the same to talk of bulls as to be in the bullring." The elder , one way or the other, pushes us into the ring. Reading this book or othere like it can raise elder energy and consciousness. However, it is still just talk of bulls. (Hopefully, by now it doesn't sound like bullshit!) I now encourage you to move toward the bullring by listening to the elder voice inside. Hopefully he encourages you to read on.

All chapters of Toward Manhood are archived.

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