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Chapter 16- The Call

I'm reminded of the famous words of Stan Laurel, "It's a fine mess you've got us in, Ollie!" Towards the end of the initiatory process, it often feels like a real mess. The young man is looking for manhood and wisdom and he finds himself more miserable than he has ever been. He is slowly losing any motivation. In many ways he has forgotten why he is doing this to begin with. Perhaps the one thing that keeps him going is the confidence and vision of his elders.

Yet like everything else in the wilderness, there comes paradox. As the initiate loses confidence and motivation, he gets closer to his goal. As he feels most alone, he starts to feel less lonely. As he feels most humiliated, he starts to feel a new dignity. As things feel more and more uncertain, he feels a growing comfort with confusion. As he stands on foreign ground, it starts to feel like home.

Slowly, he begins to see things differently. New thoughts enter his head. He begins to see the world around him with different eyes. Instead of his mother's eyes or his father's eyes, he starts to see the world through a man's eyes. In many primitive cultures, especially in the American Indian tradition, he has a vision, perhaps a kind of holy hallucination. In other cultures, he has an altered state experience. Luke, on Dagobah, described a feeling "like living in a dream."

These visions or experiences tell him that he has come in contact with another power and another place. Within the experience are many messages, all vital to his manhood. Now scared becomes sacred. The wilderness becomes home. Pain leads to purpose.

Manhood and Identity

And purpose leads to manhood...

Indigenous peoples believed that one's identity and life work were sacred gifts from the gods. They did not believe that these things were arbitrary. These people were not existentialists, like modern man, believing that they could create their own identities, or arbitrarily create a satisfying life direction. In humility people for tens of thousands of years believed that their deepest identity was there even before they were born. A power had already created a purpose. A power was calling to this purpose from the other side. At the same time, they believed that their actions in the world, primarily in their working role in their community, was their puspose and identity playing out in their lives. They believed their role and work continued work of a higher power, like the Force, if they kept themselves in harmony with that power, if they kept attuned to that call.

Many North American Indians' experiences of initiation seem most significant here, not only because of their particular search for meaning, but because their experience is so close to our own history as Anglo-Americans. The Sioux Indians' initiation is a good example.

Leaving father and mother, the young Sioux boy went out into the wilderness alone. He would carry only a blanket and a prayer pipe. The boy was looking to find a vision given to him by the Great Mystery, the Great Spirit. He would stay in a sacred space, usually a sacred circle that he would construct at a place in the wilderness he found to have significance. For three days and four nights, alone, he would fast and pray, not even drinking water. He would have to stay up all night and only doze during the day. His prayer would actually be a lament or cry to the Great Spirit for a vision. The prayer was called a lamentation. The experience was called a Vision Quest.

The vision would be the bestowal by the Great Spirit of the boy's place in the community, giving the direction for his life's work. Often, the boy would get this vision or message from Nature around him, Nature being analogous to the word of the Christian bible or the language of the Holy Spirit. The boy would have to be extremely sensitive to all that went on around him because the message could come from anywhere. Every activity around him of birds, animals, wind, clouds could have significance. As Denise Linn describes, "Life was seen as one long, mystical sojourn". They knew they were constantly surrounded with messages and signs from the spiritual realms, and the Vision Quest allowed them to be still long enough so that they could listen intently to these messages." Usually, he would find an ally spirit or totem through the peculiar behavior of certain plants, animals, or the elements around him.

When he would return from his quest the initiate would explain to his elders all that happened to him. His elders would then interpret for him anything he did not understand about his vision. From the significance of this experience, the boy would be given a new name by his elders. This name was a sign of his new status in the community, as well as a guideline for his new role in society. With his new name he would start his new life. His new name would symbolize his new identity, describe his life direction, and point him to his life work. His identity would be forever linked to the fate of his community. His identity would be linked to his responsibility to his commuity

For example, Malidoma Some found his life work through initiation. His name means "make friends with strangers". His elders told him he was called to bring his people's message of manhood and spirituality to western culture. He was to be a missionary of sorts. He came to Europe and the Americas to teach men these truths of his people. He discerned this through initiation. His elders confirmed it. He is doing this work today.

Call

The old Christian word, vocation, comes to mind here. The word vocation, at one time, had the connotation of life direction. The word vocation comes from a Latin word meaning to call. To have a vocation in Christian circles meant to be called by a higher power to a sacred identity. The call was always personal and powerful. The assumption has always been that a person was given this identity by his creator to fulfill a purpose that would be for the good of all in a divine plan.

Thomas Moore, a theologian and popular writer on soul, says that "a soulful life is one where we take fate as it presents itself to us. What our talents, abilities and tastes are-what our destiny is." Idedntity and destiny become intertwined for the mature man.

James Hillman, in his very significant book The Soul's Code, brings this mystical and spiritual idea into the realm of psychology. HIllman talks of the archetypal pull from beyond the ego, beyond the little or private 'I'. He describes this pull as feeling like a call. This call seems to pull out of us a yearning for a destiny we had, seemingly at birth. He calls this viewpoint the 'acorn theory'. Just as the acorn has the potential for the oak inside from the beginning, so "each person bears a uniqueness that asks to be lived and that is already present before it can be lived."

Indigenous people knew that a person came into the world with a unique mission. Elders often talked with the fetus to discern the talents each child brought to the community. In Classical times the Romans understood a higher self, or maybe an internal guide, that came with each human life. They called this being the genius. The Greeks called this being the daimon. This guide acted, like the Christian idea of angel, as a personal intermediary from a higher power to bring one to an awareness of the call.

The point Hillman makes is that this call is not a consequence of nature or nurture in the traditional sense, not a consequence of good or bad parenting or genes. The call is deeper and more unique, from a place beyond personal history. Yet, in the history of the world, "only our contemporary psychology and psychiatry omit it from our textbooks."

As in the initiatory work, the purpose of following the daimon has to do with fulfilling the deepest self in its mission. So there is a benevolence to the call. In fulfilling this call there is the sense of being cared for while caring for others. It seems this "angelic or daimonic intention...holds our interest at heart because it chose us for its reasons."

I named my men's center the Christos Center because of the meaning of the Greek word christos. The meaning includes being blessed or anointed for a purpose. Similar to call, the word conveys the insight that every man, and woman, has been sent into this world with a sacred purpose and a sacred set of talents and visions.

It should be noted here that individual free will is always in play here. A man is not forced to answer a call or follow a fate. And a man has the opportunity to follow many paths under the umbrella of his fate. Deep identity can move in different directions. But, I believe, that the price to pay for ignoring or not even recognizing a call is the endemic depression most men live with.

Soul and Spirit

The word mission comes from the Latin words meaning to be sent forth. Mission begs the question who is sending, as call begs the question who is calling. Clearly these ancient concepts assume a power beyond the individual and his ego that has a sense of the bigger picture and our place in it. Whatever one thinks about the identity of this power or entity, the idea has been around for thousands of years that this sender resides on the other side. Hillman, as well as indigenous peoples through millennia, would say that it is this sender who has the most influence on who we should become, not our parents, not our culture, not even our elders.

A man's highest calling is intimately related to his deepest identity. In finding ones' true self, one's essence so to speak, a man does a mysterious and sacred thing according to most great religions and spiritual beliefs recorded in history. This is the place where psychology and spirituality meet. This is also the place where soul and spirit meet.

Carl Jung had a name for that part of a man that contained his identity, as well as the place that opened onto a higher power. He called it the Self. The Self is an archetype of the whole man, consciously using all parts of his personality. To Jung, the Self, by including the depths of the unconscious, connected to a life seemingly beyond himself, certainly beyond his ego. Through contact with the Self, a man found a deeper identity and deeper meaning in his life. He said that the Self had an innate sense of a higher power and deeper wisdom, a religious sense that was not identified with any religion. The Self acted like a soul looking for spirit. The Self had a spiritual sense without defining spirit. As a scientist, Jung would never venture to say that a higher power existed, only that the Self acted like it existed.

A mature man seems to know that a higher power, at least a higher wisdom, exists because he has experienced it. Through initiation he has learned more and more of the topography of his inner life, the terrain of the Self, the wilderness within. This is the place of the soul. He has found that soul yearns for otherworldly answers, as a boy yearns for manhood.

Indigenous people saw the wilderness as the place where their higher power, their Spirit, dwelled. Initiation not only introduced a boy to his soul, the message from his elders was that his soul was intimately connected to Spirit. Elders experienced Spirit, assumed Spirit, taught about Spirit. Part of the initiatory experience was the explanation of how their people existed through the action of Spirit. Elders always taught this spiritual context, the myth of their people. In the elder's eyes, their people were continually upheld by Spirit, as each man's life and life direction would be connected to Spirit through initiation.

I believe that a modern man going through this ordeal of transformation takes a psychospiritual journey that finds both the potential of soul identity and the existence of something sacred beyond the ego's ability to understand. This something is sacred because it has the effect of bestowing a goodness to a man's life.

It is up to every man to go on this journey alone, to find out for himself. Then he can define Spirit for himself. As a psychologist, I can talk of the steps that a man has to take to painstakingly get himself ready for the wilderness. As an elder, I can tell a man he is meant for the wilderness. As a counselor, I have observed that most every man who has struggled with ordeal has emerged with a spiritual sense. As a man, I can attest to the Spirit that dwells there.

This Spirit is not the Spirit that is automatically in a church or in a religion, though this power can also be there. This is a bigger, more powerful, more mysterious Spirit who cannot be contained by one church or one religion. This is a Spirit of paradox. This is a Spirit who seemingly doesn't go by his own rules. This is the Spirit who teaches the mystery of tranformative pain. This is a Spirit of the wilderness, without and within. This is a Spirit only accessed from deep inside every man, from his own soul. This is the Elder of the elder.

The paradox, here, is that a man does not have to be spiritual to complete this journey. He must merely be radically open to the life beyond the ego, beyond the village, beyond his rational understanding. He must be willing to risk everything for a good beyond what he intuits the village can give. Often Spirit speaks through the elder within. Spirit can also be seen as a code word for what is found beyond, for the mystery that is meaningful yet not totally understandable.

A mature man has learned the difference between soul and Spirit. If he doesn't believe in Spirit is some way, he can too easily feel that his small self is the highest good. He can make himself the center of his universe, deifying his own existence, his own ego. He can more easily fall victim to hubris, psychologically suffering from inflation. This is why his humility is so important. His soul life is meant to work in resonance with Spirit, not take its place. At the least, a respect for Spirit can be a cure for narcissism.

I have mentioned that James Hillman would say that there has always been an entity, recognized by different cultures, as having a guiding influence over a person's life. This daemon or genius or nagual or guardian angel existed between physical existence and Spirit, between the two worlds of initiation. This seems also to be the place of the soul, always ready to connect to the wellspring of a higher purpose, ready to hear the messengers of Spirit.

Enthusiasm and Passion

Whether or not a man believes in Spirit I believe a man will find that his deepest identity contains his deepest sense of peace and even joy. There seems a benevolence here. Who we really are makes us feel the most alive, the most passionate. What contains our deepest yearning and passions has the secret to who we really are. In fact, in his book Callings Gregg Levoy states it is "better to ask whether a call will give us a feeling of aliveness which, as mythologist Joseph Campbell argued, is more important than even meaning for people to experience."

When thinking of the characteristics of a mature man the word enthusiasm comes to mind. This word comes from two Greek words: en, within, and theos, god. The mature man has found meaning and a higher purpose on the journey within. This changes everything. His soul, resonating with Spirit, striving to be continually in contact with the fruits of his ordeal, has a life that overflows with passion and enthusiasm.

The mature man is enthusiastic in his approach to life because he has an important, sacred purpose. He has braved the wilderness of the soul and faced his deepest fears. He has gone to the brink of death to find himself. He is now free, because he is fearless. He is no longer driven by his fears of abandonment or engulfment or lack of manly approval. He is no longer driven by his need to control, using money or status. He doesn't need to feel like and act like a god in order to feel safe and comforted. He takes pleasure in life but does not look for a life of pleasure. What he has can't be taken away by anyone else, or given by anyone else.

The mature man lives in paradox because he has his feet in two different worlds. One foot is in the village, the other in the wilderness. One foot is in pain, his pain and the pain of his community. The other is in a peaceful place of wilderness awe and detachment. He lives a two-tiered life. As Robert Johnson's book portrays, he lives between heaven and earth.

The mature man learns to live in many worlds at once. He can be in the wilderness of his own soul, then in the marketplace of his job, then by the hearth (or small business) with his soul mate. There is a Zen saying: "Chop wood, reach satori, chop wood".

A man's major ordeal immunizes him to the despair of the world. His ordeal lessons keep him from being cynical, or worse, desperate. Desperate men are dangerous men. Instead of despair, a man finds hope because he has faced a most desperate situation in ordeal and has not only survived but found new life. This is not a new life devoid of pain or confusion. It is just that pain and confusion are not the final chapter, for himself or for his community.

Intuition

A man is hardwired to feel the call deep within himself. He 'hears' the call in the wilderness of his own soul just as his ancestors heard the call in the initiatory wilderness. Carl Jung calls this 'knowing' intuition. This is a non-rational way of knowing similar to a hunch or a gut feeling. This is a direct knowledge, skipping the steps of everyday logic, making a quantum leap into a more meaningful logic. This is like the difference of Luke and Han piloting from 'normal' space into hyperspace.

Because it is non-rational society looks down on intuition, downplaying it and women by calling it 'women's intuition'. In truth intuition is the result of a man drawing on his feminine side. As we will see, initiation is a way for a man to befriend the deeper, Sacred Feminine on his way to finding his Sacred Masculinity.

Intuition is not clear like an e-mail or a verbal command or a very personal letter. It doesn't come from the logical head but from the feeling heart. It is not traditionally scientific but it does have a science of its own. Gregg Levoy points out that "even scientists will admit that they do all the homework they can but eventually rely on an intuitive leap" Like scientists every man needs to verify his intuitions scientifically. For example, important intuitions will often come from a variety of sources or a variety of situations. So there is a verification system and many trials. One trial verifications are shunned in the soul world too.

Also, intuitions of the call kind keep coming around if not heeded the first or second or third time. This cosmic insistence is another 'proof' of the validity of an intuition. Important intuitions seem to hang around, nagging and nudging. They have kind of a 'should' quality but without the guilt. One proof of the validity of these intuitive hunches is to look back on the results of choices made imagine what would have happened if an intuition would have been followed.

A man needs to learn the process of his deeper way of knowing. He must learn of his own internal truth meter. He must learn the signals of when he is inspired. The word inspiration means to have the spirit within. A man must learn when he is truly being called by spirit or guide. Or in Christian terms called by the Holy Spirit. He needs to learn to be open to inspiration.

The important thing about intuition is the feeling of rightness without external proof. And intuition is most needed during ordeal. Often it is the only thing that keeps a man in ordeal. Ordeal makes no worldly sense. And it is extremely uncomfortable to say the least. How does a man explain the urgings of the elder within? How does a man explain his yearning for something he has never experienced? How does a man explain the 'rightness' of standing his ground when his reasons are groundless?

Uninitiated men want proof. The patriarchy wants predictability. The boy masculine, the superficial masculine, wants the probabilities of success. This is the world of sterile logic. This is logic in service to the marketplace and the patriarchy. This is not the 'logic' of ordeal.

A man who learns the feeling of deep rightness about a truth or an action will hear his call. The call sometimes comes in an instant of insight. It sometimes builds over months and even years. But it never goes. Men may numb themselves to the call. They may depress the call. Yet the call continues to speak in the heart of ordeal and in a man's heart.

Luke

Luke had a passion to be a Jedi warrior from a young age. This passion was in itself antithetical to the culture since they were "all but extinct" and espoused a philosophy at great odds with the Empire. He was a good pilot but that was the extent of any noticeable Jedi talent. Yet his passion burned in him continually though his talents lay dormant and unrecognized. His passion seemd more fantasy compared to Tatooine's and Uncle Owen's 'reality'. Luke didn't even know what a light saber was when Ben Kenobi handed Luke his father's saber.

When Ben asks Luke to help by coming with him to Alderaan Luke initially listens to a benevolent but village voice Luke demurs. The second father voice of Ben then warns Luke that he is listening to Uncle Owen's voice. Yet Ben does not coerce Luke but tells him "you must do what you feel is right." Ben starts his fathering and nascent eldering of Luke in talking of the Force, "an energy field created by all living things", and urging Luke to trust his intuition about a major choice in his life. He also warns of other voices in his head that are not coming from his own deepest self.

Through Obi Wan's good fathering Luke starts to find his Jedi talents. Luke is drawn deeper in to his identity through his passion and talent. He also starts to realize that his talent is strongly connected to his cooperation with the Force. His identity and the Force are inextricably entwined. He would soon realize that his identity, his inner direction, was worth risking danger and even imminent death.

Luke's following his call of deeper inherent identity leads inevitably to the start of his initiation and his mission. Like most men following their call Luke, though not fully initiated, felt his whole life was preparation for confronting the Empire in the form of the Death Star. It felt like fate, a sign of the call. When other pilots thought of the mission as doomed and hitting the target "impossible, even for a computer" Luke talks of times he used to "bull's-eye womp rats in my T-sixteen back home".

Some men like Luke know their passion and have a sense of their talent from a very young age. Often these men are naturally intuitive and even artistic, such as writers, photographers, painters, more recently web page designers. Yet, being uninitiated, they are confused as to how to use their talent. Often they have no second father or mentor to hone their skills and encourage them to go deeper into the risk of initiation to find a meaningful place for their talent. These are men who do not fit easily into the patriarchy and have an intuition that their path may be contrary to the patriarchy and marketplace values. These are men who live fairly chaotic and unhappy lives in their teens and twenties and even thirties, feeling adrift and invisible. I have worked with these talented men frequently. These are men who, if they persist in their inner journey and humbly reach out for eldering, often find their mission and satisfaction in early midlife. These are late bloomers whose talent is often extraordinary.

Some men have found their talent but because of a lack of a meaningful mission have little passion. These are men numbed out with a great deal of warrior energy but lacking in king energy. They are successful in the patriarchy but feel little aliveness. Talent, and even passion, in themselves cannot provide direction. Initiation for these men gives a new set of values and a deeper understanding of service to community. These men often feel alive in a way they have not felt before, as if they were always meant to do this work.

Other men find their talent and ignite their passion only in the midst of initiation. These are men who have often not had much recognition either from the patriarchy or their peers. Neither have they had the pleasure of exercising a natural talent. As a result of initiation the rightness of their mission joins with the newfound pleasure of experiencing their talent.

Luke, even though successful in destroying the Death Star, had not gone deeply into initiation to find the intersection of his passion, talent, and deeper mission. As we will see, Luke needed to find the meaning and values associated with his mission, the inner strength and direction that would ground him in his purpose. He had experienced second fathering, gaining recognition of his talent and passion. He also got a taste of how mission and Spirit bring life to his talents. Now he needed to continue to follow his call. His intuition, and his second father, was leading him to a paradoxical place. He needed to go to Dagobah.

All chapters of Toward Manhood are archived.

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