I believe that every man needs contact with an older, experienced man, who I call an Elder, on his psychospiritual path to healthy manhood. I want to help interested men connect with those who possess Eldering wisdom. Our culture has no norms about who is an Elder. There is no license or other form of cultural approval. I believe that I can help men connect with those who do have wisdom and guidance to give. I want to point interested men in the direction of possible Elders and ultimately to their Elder within.

There are a number of ways to contact Elder wisdom. One way is through books written by Elders. At right is a Bibliography that I have compiled over the years. This is a start.

Another way to contact Elder wisdom is to find Elders to communicate with. Below are links to web pages that list individual men or groups that teach and support men’s growth.
This is an educational nonprofit volunteer web site which serves a diverse men's community providing information on over 100 men's issues regarding positive change in male roles and relationships. We have thousands of on-site men's book reviews & covers, men's resources and hyperlinks and hundreds of men's events, periodicals and groups. Some issues include abuse, aging, circumcision, divorce, fathers, health, isolation, mid-life, multicultural, prostate, sexuality, spirituality, transition, violence, work, etc. The site covers all major segments of the men's movement (men's rights, mythopoetic, pro-feminist, recovery, re-evaluation counseling, and religious).
Called the Mankind Project, formerly New Warriors, this is a pioneer group in the men's movement. This group takes initiation of men seriously, and provides men with the ongoing support they need on their journeys to manhood. Their emphasis on mission and service is especially powerful.
A site for those needing a structured Vision Quest. A Vision Quest is a Native American form of initiation. This is a experienced and wise group of people.
A site that long-time men’s counselor and advocate Jed Diamond publishes that speaks to issues related men’s growth personally and in relationship. He has over 40 years experience is this field and has a multitude of good insights and advice.

I am also available to do what I call Elder counseling, especially for those who cannot find a local men's counselor. See Online Counseling.

Email me at if you have questions or want to know more about any of these processes. I will get back to you. 


Alboher, Marci. (2013). The Encore Career Handbook Workman Publishing: New York. Socio-Cultural. Later career directions for healthy patriarchs that can change the world. An important second chance for baby boomers!

Bly, Robert. (1990). Iron John Addison-Wesley: New York. Mythopoetic/Archetypal Psychology. A classic in the men’s movement. Bly is a pioneer in the unmasking of the pseudo-masculinity of the patriarchy. Some may not connect with this book because of its literary and mythic bent.

Bly, Robert. The Sibling Society Mythopoetic/Socio-Cultural. A book about the dearth of elders in society with the result that we are primarily an adolescent society. More data for the politically inclined. A good insight into our morally leaderless society.

Bolen, Jean Shinoda. (1989). Gods in Everyman Harper and Row: San Francisco. Archetypal Psychology. Connection of Greek myth to insights into the dynamics of a patriarchal society. Also a look into the roots of our Western culture in its model of manhood.

Bradshaw, John. (1990). Homecoming Bantam: New York. Psychology. Great insight into work with the complex of the inner child. The ages of Bradshaw’s children do not correspond to the ages in this book. But the process and principles are very helpful. The ages will take care of themselves if the process is followed. The youngest boy, middle boy, and adolescent will emerge.

Brooks, Gary. (1995). The Centerfold Syndrome Jossey-Bass: San Francisco. A look at unhealthy male sexuality leading to unhealthy intimacy. A study of the roots of sexual addiction. For the professional he has also written a good book on therapy: A New Psychotherapy for Traditional Men.

Campbell, Joseph. (1949). The Hero with a Thousand Faces MJF Books: New York. Mythopoetic. Another classic. Campbell opened up the truth of myth to the larger population. His work undergirds Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious and the hardwiring in every man. He studies the hero archetype rather than the initiatory archetype, but the parallels are too important to miss.

Carnes, Patrick. (1983), Out Of the Shadows, Understanding Sexual Addiction CompCare: Minneapolis. Psychology. A clinical look at sexual addiction. Carnes is a pioneer in studying and researching this topic.266

Diamond, Jed. (1997). Male Menopause Sourcebooks: Naperville. Medical/Mythopoetic. Sound medical basis for the losses men feel at midlife. A description of the ‘menopause passage’ that mirrors initiation. A mythopoetic answer to midlife struggles.

Doherty, Catherine. (1975). Poustinia Ave Maria Press: Notre Dame. Socio-cultural/Spirituality. A look at Russian spirituality as an insight into an older Elder society. A spiritual look at aspects of the Ordeal of initiation.

Eliade, Mircea. (1958) Rite and Symbols Of Initiation Harper and Row: New York. Socio-Cultural/Spirituality. A great scholar of the history of religion and myth. This is a scholarly work for those who want to study initiation in depth from an anthropological and cultural perspective.

Farrell, Warren. (1993). The Myth of Male Power Simon and Schuster: New York. Socio-Cultural. A strong case for the toxicity of modern culture for men. Many proofs of how men are as oppressed as women by the patriarchal culture. Be ready for your blood pressure to rise upon reading.

Fisher, Robert, (1990). The Knight in Rusty Armor Wilshire Book: Hollywood. Mythopoetic. A short, entertaining allegory written by a successful TV and radio comedy writer. The story of a knight totally encumbered and imprisoned in his own patriarchal armor and how he escapes.

Gerzon, Mark. (1982, 1992). A Choice of Heroes Houghton-Mifflin: New York. Socio-Cultural/ Archetypal Psychology. A look at the modern archetypes of manhood and how limiting they are. Groundbreaking at the time. Many examples of how our leaders and heroes are formed and form us.

Gerzon, Mark. (1996). Listening To Midlife Shambhala: Boston. Psychology. A wise look at the challenge of initiation at midlife. A hopeful book by a seasoned elder.

Gilmore, David (1990). Manhood in The Making Yale University Press: New Haven. Socio-Cultural. A study of modern initiation rituals and masculine mores from an anthropologist’s point of view. A look at faulty rituals that have devolved over the centuries. Good comparison to modern American culture with insight into the roots of modern cultural attitudes.

Gray, John (1992). Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus HarperCollins: New York. Psychology. Basic descriptions of the differences of men and women in the area of intimacy.

Guggenbuhl-Craig, Adolf. (1977). Marriage Dead or Alive Spring Publications: Woodstock, Connecticut. Psychology/Archetypal Psychology. A Jungian psychologist talks of marriage as a way of reaching maturity.

Gurian, Michael. (2003). What Could He Be Thinking? St. Martin’s Press: New York. Psychology/Neurobiology. A book about the differences in male and female neurobiology and its effects on gender attitudes and behavior. This is a field that is shaping our gender understanding in the 21st century.267

Halper, Janice. (1988). Quiet Desperation: The Truth About Successful Men Warner: New York. Socio-Cultural. An executive consultant for Fortune 500 companies, she conducted over 4,000 interviews of successful executives. Her findings question the myth of happiness that comes from success as well as the myth that corporate culture breeds real men. A good study of workaholism.

Hawken, Paul. (2007). Blessed Unrest Viking: New York. Socio-Cultural. A book about the ‘largest movement in the world’ that relates to social justice, protection of the environment, and indigenous values. A hopeful, motivating book.

Hillman, James. (1996). The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling Random House: New York. Archetypal Psychology. An Elder archetypal psychologist looks at the way men and women are called to very specific talents and endeavors. How this idea has been around in Western culture since the early Greeks. A new psychology of “fate.”

Hornstein, Harvey. (1991). A Knight In Shining Armor: Understanding Men’s Romantic Illusions William Morrow: New York. Psychology. A more complete explanation of the damsel in distress syndrome. A book about how men lose in romantic relationships.

Jarema, William. (1994). Fathering the Next Generation Crossroads: New York. Psychology. A great book for men who want to be good fathers. A help for men exploring their father wounds.

Johnson, Robert, (1989). He: Understanding Masculine Psychology (Revised Edition). Harper and Row: New York. Archetypal Psychology. Johnson is a true elder, wise, humble, caring. His books are short but very dense. He is a man of few words but the words are powerful. He follows in the line of Joseph Campbell in studying the hero myth, but from a psychological perspective. He has also written a book, She, about feminine psychology.

Johnson, Robert (1994). Lying With The Heavenly Woman: Understanding and Integrating The Feminine Archetypes In Men’s Lives Harper San Francisco. Archetypal Psychology. A good study of the anima and how it affects men’s lives.

Johnson, Robert (1983). We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love Harper-San Francisco. Archetypal Psychology. This is a book that gives some answers to the confusion of romantic love. It can bring a man back to what is most important about his own life and how relationships fit in.

Keen, Sam. (1991). Fire In The Belly: On Being A Man Bantam: New York. Socio-Cultural/ Psychology. One of the most readable and understandable books about men. A good understanding of psychology for a philosopher. He puts it together in a way that a man can connect to. Discussion of WOMAN a classic. Good discussion of pseudo-rituals of initiation.268

Kindlon, Dan and Thompson, Michael. (1999). Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life Of Boys Ballantine Books: New York. Psychology. An excellent book that should be read by every mother and father of a son. A good companion to Pollack’s book. More balanced in explaining the role of father and mentors.

Kipnis, Aaron. (1991). Knights without Armor St. Martin’s Press: New York. Archetypal Psychology/Socio-Cultural/Mythopoetic. Kipnis is a psychotherapist with a large perspective and good instincts. He talks of the need for men to have new missions outside the patriarchy. He delineates twelve tasks that mature men need to accomplish. His analysis of the empty hero myth of our culture is well worth reading.

Krantzler, Mel. (1992). The 7 Marriages of Your Marriage HarperSanFrancisco: New York. Psychology. An excellent look at the developmental stages of marriage from a cultural and psychological point of view. Out of print, but can be found in libraries.

Lee, John. (2009). The Anger Solution Da Capo Lifelong Books: Cambridge, MA. Psychology. Excellent book on the difference between healthy anger and harmful rage. A good explanation of rage addiction.

Lee, John. (2001), Growing Yourself Back Up Three Rivers Press: New York. Psychology. A very good book about regression and how to deal with it.

Levinson, Daniel. (1978). The Seasons of A Man’s Life Alfred Knopf: New York. Psychology/Socio-Cultural. Still relevant over 20 years later. A long-range, scientific study of mostly professional men’s social and psychological development. His stages of masculine development deserve careful reading as they fly in the face of popular conceptions. Good discussion of mentors.

Levoy, Gregg. (1997). Callings Three Rivers Press: New York. Archetypal Psychology. Many wise thoughts on the way a man may find his purpose in life.

Linn, Denise. (1997). Quest, A Guide For Creating Your Own Vision Quest Ballantine Books: New York. Socio-Cultural. An excellent, step-by-step guide to the initiatory process by a woman elder who has guided many.

Mahdi, Louise, Editor. (1987). Betwixt & Between: Patterns of Masculine and Feminine Initiation Open Court: La Salle, Illinois. Socio-Cultural/Psychology/Archetypal Psychology. This may be the first book to reach for in order to understand male initiation in all it aspects. Great background for this book.

Meade, Michael. (1993). Men and The Water Of Life Harper-San Francisco: New York. Mythopoetic/Archetypal Psychology. “Meade writes quite brilliantly about initiation, ordeal and the importance of scars and wounds...” (New York Times). Meade is a seminal pioneer in the men’s movement. If you like Bly you’ll love Meade.269

Miller, Stuart. (1983). Men and Friendship Tarcher: Los Angeles. Socio-Cultural. A compelling account of one man’s struggle with finding men to be brothers rather than competitors. A good look at the obstacles to male friendship and the emotional need we all have for male companionship.

Moore, Robert and Gillette, Douglas. (1991). King. Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering The Archetypes Of The Mature Masculine Harper-San Francisco: New York. Archetypal Psychology/Psychology. A must read book. Important ideas of king and warrior that refer to men’s missions and boundaries.

Moore, Thomas. (1992). Care of the Soul Harper Collins: New York. Psychology/ Archetypal Psychology. The connection of psychology with a wider look at what it is to be human. Like Bly and Meade but from a therapist’s and philosopher’s point of view.

Morgan, Marlo. (1991). Mutant Message Down Under MM Co.:Missouri. Socio-Cultural. A controversial book, little known. I believe it to be an accurate look into the beliefs and lifestyle of indigenous Aborigine of Australia.

Peck, Scott. (1978). The Road Less Traveled Simon and Schuster: New York. Psychology/Spirituality. A classic book that made many ideas in psychology understandable to all of us. Then he connects these ideas to love relationships and the spiritual search. I recommend it to most men starting counseling.

Pittman, Frank. (1993). Man Enough: Fathers, Sons, and the Search for Masculinity Putnam’s Sons: New York. Psychology/Socio-Cultural. An incisive look at the “male chorus,” all the male voices telling us how to be men, that affects all men’s life in their search for masculinity. Also a good look at fathers and mothers and how they affect adult relationships.

Plotkin, Bill. (2008) Nature and the Human Soul New World Library: Novato, California. Archetypal Psychology. Indigenous sense of life stages and the need for connection to Nature.

Pollack, William (1998). Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood Random House: New York. Psychology. A scientific study of how boys are socialized to be patriarchal men, by what Pollack calls “the Boy Code.” Answers to how to parent a boy into a healthy male. Also, for professionals, he has co-authored and edited a book on counseling for men called The New Psychotherapy for Men. John Wiley & Sons: New York.

Real, Terrence. (1997). I Don’t Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy Of Male Depression Scribner: New York. Psychology. Excellent discussion of the widespread hidden depression in men, masked by addiction and violence. Uninformed criticism of the men’s movement and the initiatory journey.270

Rohr, Richard. (1996). The Wild Man’s Journey: Reflections on Male Spirituality (Revised Edition). St. Anthony Messenger Press: Cincinnati. Spirituality/Psychology. Fr. Rohr has the unusual ability to wed spiritual wisdom and psychological truth in a way that enhances both. Bring that background to men’s issues and you have a powerful book for men.

Rotundo, Anthony. (1993). American Manhood: Transformations in Masculinity from the Revolution to the Modern Era HarperCollins: New York. Socio-Cultural. A fine history of how the traditional American male ideology was formed.

Sams, Jamie. (1990). Sacred Path Cards: The Discovery of Self Through Native Teachings HarperCollins: New York. Socio-Cultural/PsychoSpiritual. Wise book describing Native American values. The cards can be used as synchronous guidance to wisdom related to specific life situations.

Somé, Malidoma. (1998). The Healing Wisdom of Africa Jeremy Tarcher/Putnam: New York. A study of indigenous culture and the making of a man. A look at the roles of mentor, Elder, ritual healers. One model of a spiritually and psychologically healthy society.

Somé, Malidoma. (1994). Of Water and the Spirit Jeremy Tarcher/ Putnam: New York. A riveting story of Malidoma’s experience of his initiation into the Dagara tribe of West Africa.

Van der Post, Laurens and Taylor, Jane. (1984). Testament to the Bushmen Viking:England. Socio-Cultural. Laurens has befriended and studied the Bushmen his whole life. A look into a healthy indigenous culture. He was also a friend of Carl Jung and wrote of Jung’s study trips to Africa.

Yablonsky, Lewis. (1982). Fathers & Sons Simon and Schuster: New York. Psychology. An enlightened look at father wounds and father guidance. The psychological insight will help any man be a better father or understand his own father.

Zilbergeld, Bernie. (1992). The New Male Sexuality Bantam: NewYork. Psychology. An important work about how full sexuality is connected to male maturation. How traditional male attitudes get in the way of full sexual satisfaction. Ways to become a mature lover.